Ah, the traditional family photo.
Being forced to dress up, smile awkwardly and stand next to assorted relatives; it’s enough to make you wish you’d been raised by wolves.
As children, most of us had to put up with our parents dressing us in a variety of hideous outfits. Of course, we might have been able to block this nightmare from our memories had the snap-happy sadists not insisted on taking photos memorialising our enforced fashion faux pas.
For example, my mother once insisted on dressing me in a full sailor’s outfit – complete with peaked cap and nautical neck tie. I looked like the tiniest member of the Village People.

Ahoy Sailor!

Ahoy Sailor!

A brief glimpse at our family album reveals at least 10 pictures capturing this crime against toddler fashion.

 Still, I got off pretty lightly – unlike some of the people snapped below.

Whilst my own sailor outfit was probably the result of an overly hormonal woman and her misguided belief that dressing toddlers in nautically themed outfits was ‘cute’, these poor bastards weren’t so lucky.
Instead, these unfortunate souls were convinced to pose for a ‘wacky’ family snap in an ill-advised effort to shake up the traditional family photo.
As you can see from the examples below, the results range from the unintentionally hilarious to the downright creepy.
Pose for this wacky picture they said. It’ll be fun they said.
So next time you happen to be flicking through your family album and cringing over those less than flattering pictures, try and remember that it could have been so much worse.
After all, at least you weren’t snapped  inappropriately hugging your sister, awkwardly straddling a tree branch or – most disturbing of all- posing au naturale with assorted household pets.
I mean, put like that, the whole thing sort of makes me grateful that the worst I had to endure was a brief period of parentally induced sailor shame.
Hmm, well…almost. 

1. Inappropriate sibling affection

A lifetime of therapy beckons

2. Doggy Style

dog photo
He just REALLY likes that dog

3. The attention seeker

dad shame
Yeah, you guys carry on. I’ll just be back here…doing my thing.

4. Old MacDonald

He’s got his…chicken out.

5. Matricide

Something tells me this lot have some unresolved issues…

6. Purr-fectly normal


7. Facts of Life

…and so that’s where babies come from.

8. Strike a pose

You know that thing where your parents convince you to do something by telling you that it’ll be ‘a bit of a laugh’ but which – in reality – you’ll later come to deeply regret’? Yeah…THAT.

9. Make my day!

Hey babe, you know what’ll make a great picture? If we pose in such a way that I appear to be taking a pregnant woman hostage.

10. Denim Disaster

Well, THIS isn’t at all awkward

11. Uncle Sam and Miss America

No. Just…No.

12. 50 Shades of messed up

You’re topless and pregnant…I’m topless and grabbing a handful of your ass…our kid will totes appreciate this picture when he grows up.

13. Name tags

One word: Why?

14. The Photobomber

He’s behind you!

15. Sports fanatic

This isn’t how it looks…honest!

16. Hopping mad

Are they magicians? Florists? Fans of Watership Down?