Jeremy Kyle Snow White 1

by Siobhan Carney

When I was little I was obsessed with Disney movies.
Like most children, I was enthralled with the idea that magical kingdoms and handsome princes actually existed. Whilst the sight of animated forest animals giving life lessons through the medium of song was more than enough to make a five-year-old me completely ‘lose my shit’.
As a child, I didn’t just ‘like’ Disney movies. Oh no. I ******* loved Disney movies.
Which is why, between the ages of 5-11, my childhood goals were as follows:

  • Convince my parents to throw me a birthday party at MacDonald’s. (Having your birthday party at Maccy D’s was the absolute height of kid coolness.)
  • Convince my parents to buy me Mr Frosty for Christmas. (Am I the only one still bitter about being denied the opportunity to make glucose based ice drinks?)
  • And last but not least, convince my parents to take me to Disneyworld.

Naturally, I failed to convince my mother and father to do any of the above. However, my parents did take me to Haven holiday-park one summer – which, for those of you who don’t know, is kind of like Disneyland for poor people.
Still, despite the setback, my enthusiasm for all things Disney continues to this day. I mean, why wouldn’t it? Classic Disney movies taught me some valuable life lessons. For example: don’t accept **** from strangers (Snow White); Curfews are meant to be obeyed (Cinderella), and if James Earl Jones tells you to do something you better wake up and pay attention (The Lion King).
There’s really only one thing that bothers me about Disney films (you know, if you ignore the unrealistic depictions of love and the abundance of casual racism).
What happened to the characters after the movie ended?
Whilst the idea of ‘happily ever after’ may seem fine to an idealistic child, once you’ve reached adulthood you can’t help but wonder if that whole concept is just a little bit too trite.
Luckily for you, Eevee Life and I were a little curious too. And at the risk of ruining your childhood, we’ve put together a list of 9 of your favourite Disney characters (including a nervy lie detector test for Snow White above), and what they might be up to these days…
Ariel on the voice final
Bambi Burgers
Lady and the tramp on benefits
Mad hatter
Minnie Mouse Heat cover
Seb Crab
Tinkerbell stripper
Robin hood